Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
