I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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