highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize