Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
You're a waste of cheezeits
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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