so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize