How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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