Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
When are your genitals available?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
