Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize