Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
