i just wanna soil my oats bro
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
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You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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