I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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