And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.