At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ttyl tear gas
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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