I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.