I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.