you guys were way drunker than both of me
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
