He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
