i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I know her cup size but not her name....
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