Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize