Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
