New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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