Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
