Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
