Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
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i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
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She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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