Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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