I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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