so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
