first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
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