Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
