my soul wont recognize me after tonight
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
50% drunk capacity currently
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi