# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today