dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
i know! what is this dateline?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
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Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
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You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.