apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.