oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize