So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize