just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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