He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
