It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Randomize