And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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