lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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