He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize