How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats