thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
She announced her abortion via fbk
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.