I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
We named our party play list daddy issues
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
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i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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