I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Randomize
