Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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