She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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