he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
