69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I miss vodka workout Fridays
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
