when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
