After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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