If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alive.
So much puke
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize