I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize