Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
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