I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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