how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize